My heart is beating so fast. I’m 30,000 feet in the air flying to Portland, Oregon, the first time I have been back since we left in 2008 for our return to the East Coast. Week 6 is it. My mind is firm. I cut out piles of blue squares, red circles, yellow squares and green triangles last night as I made final preparations for this trip. Not ideal timing as it is Halloween which we love together and Clare turns 5 tomorrow, but I knew this is really important work. Last year this week was also a huge moment—the crash of my Rivertown Composting work, along with the rise of GBB consulting (Nov 1-Nov 4 it all happened, 2016).
As I was cutting out the construction paper shapes, I told my husband that I was driving to get our youngest little one William from school the day before and thinking that I wasn’t really seeing these shapes, or paying as much attention as I should, and just then, a young man gets out of his parked car as I’m stopped at the red light and he’s wearing a “Maui” sweatshirt that has EACH OF THE SHAPES with the associated colors surrounding it. I almost stopped to go back and get his photo, but as I’m telling my husband this, he looks it up on his phone and it’s Maui & Sons surf company’s logo.
Unreal. Even the story of the company—the friends first tried a cookie company in the 1980’s and then landed on a surf shop and the rest is history.
I’m packing for the trip and doing my usual mental checklist, used to be 4 categories, now I have #5: clothes, bathroom items, computer/work papers, vitamins/shakes, and a NEW one: MKMME materials! I have my functional bookmark set up too.
So this morning as I take off from Newark, it’s a great chance for focused time. I read everything including Emerson. I was planning to spend 1/3 resting, 1/3 MKMME and 1/3 prepping for the consulting client work ahead. But I couldn’t sleep and had to get to my DMP rewrite. Taking out a blank pad, I write what I think is really it. My 300 words of bliss! I will upload for Cleas later (thank you for pushing me for more feeling, now I have it!), but then I closed my eyes just as I saw the United blue rectangle sign in front of me ($450K Porters Farm Grants) and red circle on the drink napkin (Black Dirt Organics pilot with Farm from a Box site), and then shortly thereafter, it just hits me! I grab the DMP pad back again and refine some of the numbers. My heart is beating faster. Tears well up in my eyes. I see it, it will be done. I cannot wait to tell Scott and then MarcoPolo with my group. I’m missing the weekly check-in tomorrow because of a client meeting, but I have to tell them that I love and appreciate what we are doing together so much!
I see it and feel like we are there. I can’t believe it, but it’s true and this changes every thing. Every single thing. I know we are on the path, cannot wait to feel this jubilance in my heart every day from now on!
I just went to the tiny airplane bathroom and almost cried again looking in the mirror thinking that all I have to do to create this future is to be more of myself, meditate and keep good habits. Hallelujah!
Littlest William said out of the blue this week: it’s your turn Mom, to be whatever you want. I wouldn’t have believed that he actually said it, but my beloved husband Scott was there too. At almost 4 years old, William is closer to the universal than we are. We are chipping the concrete away to get back to what he still knows. We are doing it baby! Hold on, buckle up, Porters GO!